Faith Shattered

“Faith unchecked becomes entitlement…” ~Bill Johnson (Faith Vs Entitlement) This concept has been rocking my world lately. I've lived in the knowledge of God my whole life.  And somewhere between the first moment when that tiny seed of faith in me was activated; that first thrill of discovering God is real, and now... I have … Continue reading Faith Shattered

What I wish people Understood: I can’t praise away sorrow, and I don’t want to.

I won’t always cry.  But sometimes, sadness and loneliness just need to be felt.  They are the truest expressions of faith in God’s ability to meet me where I’m at. Disappointment, regret, loss… these things can’t simply be prayed away, cast out or replaced with praises and singing.  They are real life companions for anyone … Continue reading What I wish people Understood: I can’t praise away sorrow, and I don’t want to.

Knowning

When this pain hit, I knew You, Abba God.  A Father, closer to me that my own skin.  But, You let me down.  Where were you in her suffering?  Where were you in her time of need?  Why couldn’t I see You?  Why couldn’t I feel You?  I still can’t… not like I used to.  Even … Continue reading Knowning

Pain: Nemesis or Mentor? Pt. 3

"Lean into the pain..." I hear it... whispers... echoes of a voice I trust. lean into the pain... pain is the intersection where life and death meet, and we get to choose which road we will travel.  What will we let die and what will we nurture to life when we experience pain? Pain is … Continue reading Pain: Nemesis or Mentor? Pt. 3

Tragedy & God

How does tragedy fit into the theme of a loving God? I have no idea I know a churchy answer... but if I were to answer those who have lost loved ones to acts of cruelty or carelessness, or to bad luck or bad genes,  my churchiness would not be appreciated.  In fact those answers might … Continue reading Tragedy & God

Grandpa Praying

One of my favorite childhood memories is waking up in my grandparents house to the smell of coffee and toast, clean sheets and the lingering sent of grandma's soap and lotion, and grandpa's aftershave. I was upstairs, usually in the blue room with two twin beds,  windows that opened up over the street below, a … Continue reading Grandpa Praying

Finding Words

So, I have stated that I am starting to write again.  And I am. I just didn't realize how challenging it would be to find something in my writing that I feel courageous enough to publish in a blog. My heart is tender right now.  Grief is a strange companion... an awful guest.  Unpredictable, uncooperative, … Continue reading Finding Words