What I wish People Understood: God broke trust with me, and only God can fix it.

I remember when your miracle came to life, when we all celebrated God’s faithfulness and power.  I sat in the audience watching, as you prayed for their miracle, and God moved through you.  I was so full of faith, and with you, I was passionate about everyone experiencing what we shared together - God of … Continue reading What I wish People Understood: God broke trust with me, and only God can fix it.

Knowning

When this pain hit, I knew You, Abba God.  A Father, closer to me that my own skin.  But, You let me down.  Where were you in her suffering?  Where were you in her time of need?  Why couldn’t I see You?  Why couldn’t I feel You?  I still can’t… not like I used to.  Even … Continue reading Knowning

What I wish people understood: This is not something I’ll just get over

I lived with these people in my life for over 20 years.  One of them was a stabilizing presence my whole life... until now.  I won’t get over their deaths in a matter of months, probably not even in a matter of years.  I don’t know that I even want to get over loosing them. I … Continue reading What I wish people understood: This is not something I’ll just get over

What I wish people understood: Death of Them = Death of Me

I'm new to grieving.  And I've never lost these people before. It's been a year, but I still feel like I'm standing inside a snow glob watching you all carrying on in life like nothing happened.  Trapped in a reality that stood still the minute they died. I'm learning how to live this life from … Continue reading What I wish people understood: Death of Them = Death of Me

Tragedy & God

How does tragedy fit into the theme of a loving God? I have no idea I know a churchy answer... but if I were to answer those who have lost loved ones to acts of cruelty or carelessness, or to bad luck or bad genes,  my churchiness would not be appreciated.  In fact those answers might … Continue reading Tragedy & God

Legacy of Risk: Grandpa

Just a couple weeks before my grandpa passed away we got to have a really good and insightful conversation. "Linds, I'm not a risk taking kinda guy, but if you can take a good risk, do it." He told us about the different decisions he made throughout his life.  His decision to purchase properties on … Continue reading Legacy of Risk: Grandpa

Grandpa Praying

One of my favorite childhood memories is waking up in my grandparents house to the smell of coffee and toast, clean sheets and the lingering sent of grandma's soap and lotion, and grandpa's aftershave. I was upstairs, usually in the blue room with two twin beds,  windows that opened up over the street below, a … Continue reading Grandpa Praying