Perspective

Perspective is everything.

The more I’ve worked with people, and the more I put myself in the back seat of whatever is going on, the more I’ve observed that my perspective isn’t accurate – that how I initially felt about a situation or person is often really wrong.

When I’ve been in situations where two people are expressing their experiences of each other, I’m often baffled at how differently they experienced the same encounter.  Yet they each strongly believe they are right in what they felt and the other person must just be “off.”  Or simply, in the wrong.   How many times have I felt that way? How often have I not taken into consideration that their perspective might be completely different than my own?

Its easy to think that the way we see life is how 
it truly is.  It's easy to believe that how I feel 
about something or someone is an accurate perception 
of  what's going on, because it's how 
I feel - that's all I've got to work with before I 
go outside of myself.

I think what trips us up the most about perspective in relationships is justification.  When I go about gathering evidence to justify my perspective as the right perspective, I begin shutting off communication to the degree that my voice is the only one I’ll listen too – mine and whoever will agree with me.

This is probably the single most deadly thing 
we can do to ourselves and in a relationship.

I often observe that the people who have the most accurate persecutive and consequently the most success in relationships are those who will openly entertain a perspective that is offensive to their own, and they admit the qualities and validity of a different perspective.

People who tend to have the most accurate perspectives seem to have a unique ability to separate their IDENTITY  from their FEELINGS.  
These people don't believe that accuracy
is found in being agreed with;  
They have an uncanny ability to change their minds 
about people to such a degree that the one who 
previously offended them is one whom they come to admire.

Perspective is everything.

 

 

 

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